My Blog Blog

One. Never marry a man who define looks as more important than the rest. If he’s a narcissist, too bad. Get out from him. If you can’t, you have to deal with it.

Two. Never marry a man who borrow your cell phone to call on someone. The next time you see your bill, you’re broke.

Three. Never marry a man who try to change the way you are. Who suggest to cut your hair with a style and say, "you look like a nun". He is the type of man who’s willing to spend his money just for you to look good for him and in front of his friends. When you marry him, you’re going to have a lot of pressure.

Four. Never marry a man who smoke. Kissing part might be too bad. Well, if you love him, reconsider about marrying.

Five. Never marry a man who invited you in a bar, who just leave you behind the entrance and say directly in front of many people, “you have money? You pay. Too bad. If he called again, turn him down. Shut off you phone and ignore him when you see him again.

Six. Never marry a man who let you push his car, run out of fuel thing. "Do you have 50 bucks?, I’ll pay you later", that’s a disaster. Then, when you ask him to return your money, he has a lot of excuses. You should know the hint, that the man you’ve dated is not trustworthy.

Seven. Never marry a man who make you look like a crook, who get your nerves off the hook, who let you wait for a day and will ask apology at the end of the week. Turn him down and throw him in the creek.

Eight. Never marry a man who will try to control you, who will set a schedule for you and tell you, "I don’t like that, postpone your appointment on Saturday and come with me". What the heck? Don‘t be his remote control. That means, he will control your life forever if you’re going to marry him.

Nine. Never marry a man who label you as a sex object, an object who can fulfill his own desire, this means that if he look at you like that, he’s doing the same thing to some other girls and that’s going to be a big issue during marriage. Before this thing will happen, think of it a trillion times.

Ten. Especially, never marry a man who tried to manipulate your life. Women are not robots, they can be submissive but too submissive. There are instances that a women should take a decision out of her own.

Girls, never settle for a man who hurt you all over and over again. Don’t marry him for just a love reason, consider other things. If the man loves you, he will treat you like a queen, he’ll give his respect and he will make everything possible just to make you satisfied and happy. It’s your life anyway, if you marry him, it‘s all up to you. Marry a man who know you, who will accept you, not a man who want something from you. Never tolerate his behaviour, you can compromise in some way but not in the whole span of time. Don’t do all the bending, in a relationship, two people will work it out.

~Stone Heart

          Its been a long time since I last blogged here. Seems like I have neglected here for blogspot. Well, in a way… I guess. Its just that I have been pondering on quite a few issues for a while.

          Watched ‘The Passion of The Christ’ during Easter Sunday. Besides the point of what Jesus went through in his last hours, how people reacted, how we should be practicing, etc. One issue that caught my attention was ‘love your enemies’ (Matthew 5:44).

           I don’t see myself having enemies. maybe people that I don’t like or avoid or don’t associate with. Still the commandment was there and to put it into practice is not easy.

           What to do? What to do?   

           Gosh… I had this hanging over my head a for a long time… That feeling has diminished a little but am trying to think of ways or who or what should I do next?

          A week later we had this young man, Pastor Paul (me thinks) speaking at church relieving Pastor Matthew since he was away on holiday. He was an American student studying for a PhD in devinity at AU, and he brought up another topic about evangelism and serving. Great! This is one of my weakest point as a Christian.

           Many times I feel that I am not fit enough to share God’s message, let alone how to do it. And this was an urge to me within a space of probably 4 weeks. Earlier (4 weeks before that), I was MSNing with KelLee who is now in South Africa on short missions trip. When we were MSNing she was in Hawaii. And she shared how God is working in her and how she is doing her part serving.

          Two urges in four weeks. One thing that Pastor Paul mentioned was that we will always be in the danger of being prosecuted, judged, and many more. We will face all sort of dangers, fears, etc. But we ‘just have to do it’.

          Got me thinking a lot of things in life we face will have a certain element of danger, fear, uncertainty; but all we have to do in the easiest form is ‘just do it’!

          In a totally sort of unrelated case, was at the recent Torcher Parade. We were required to decorate our float and I had to climb up and down a trailer which was about 6ft high. And the only way to get up there was climbing some bars/stand that was there. Man… did I have a difficult time doing it.

          The first time I went up the boys (Chris and Vitali) was nice enough to push me up. I was afraid I guess. I was conscious of my weight and myself. But when I got up there it wasn’t that bad. Now comes the equally difficult part: coming down the trailer. Great! I can’t even get up now how am I getting down? I didn’t want to break my leg.

          Vitali was nice enough to ask me to sit on his shoulders. I was like ‘what?!’. Consciousness overcome me. I was afraid. Vitali is not a big guy unlike Chris. But then both guys got me safely back on the ground - frankly, I almost kissed it.

          Anyways, they later made me a makeshift ladder. Awww… so sweet! Which I was proud to show off to anyone. Promoting good guys… hehehh… And also how lucky I was!

          The point is that I realised, no matter how difficult a situation we are in or if we are in any danger, God send his angels to us - our friends. And in many things that we do - especially those filled with uncertainties, we need to take the leap of faith and as they say, if it doesn’t kill it won’t hurt.

      I was having a chat with an old friend of mine, reminising the times we spent together.

      I realised that there were times and situations that ‘if I had done this… it would have been like this’ or ‘if I had done that… it would have been like that’. I also realised the mistakes within and outside of our relationship. I felt really bad for some of the things that I didn’t realised I had done at that time. But the best thing that she said was ‘those are in the past, what is important is NOW!’.

       I kept pondering on that.

       We can’t change the past. I know I have done my fair share of mistakes and of course I can think of now is ‘I should have…’ or ‘I shouldn’t have…’ But then I also thought about ‘had I not…’ or ‘had I…’ life would be so much different as well.

        Got me thinking that life is not always what you thought about, dream about or even plan for. Change is always inevitable. Many times I hate change. Probably it takes me off my comfort zone. But I love the challenges of change (that is after a lot of fretting and worrying later…) and how I raise above it at the end of the day.

        I guess at the end of the day it is how we tackle all these challenges, unexpected situations and all the unforseeables that comes to us in this journey called ‘LIFE’.

Just a little sharing…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…

…A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

…One friend who always makes her laugh…

…And one who lets her cry.

…A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

…Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

…A feeling of control over Her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

…How to fall in love without losing herself.

…How to quit a job.

…Break up with a lover.

…And confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

…When to try harder…

…And when to walk away.

…That she can’t change: the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

…That her childhood may not have been perfect but; its over.

…What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.

…How to live alone even if she doesn’t like it.

…Whom she can trust, whom she can’t and why she shouldn’t take it personally.

…Where to go be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing.

…What she can and can’t accomplish in a day… a month… and a year…

You know its spring when…

…the clock moves ahead an hour

…more time spent outdoors

…daffodils are available

…baking!

Right, my cheese and onion buns turned out a little ‘darker’ than it should have possibly been and was rock hard when done. I was quite disappointed… BUT, when it cooled it was not rock hard, it was soft and a little chewy inside. Come on!! Cut me a little slack. Its my first time baking buns as well!

So if anyone knows why it is a little chewy inside share some tips with me ok?

I had been having some low period for the past week (as you can see from my blogs). But nothing beats a good episode of Scrubs.

In My Boss’s Free Haircut, Bob Kelso said: "NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT’S WORTH HAVING COMES EASY" and it just all clear up that how true that is.

Thanks Bobbo! ;oP

I was ill in bed (on the couch) last week and I found that I had Sophie Kinsella’s ‘The Undomestic Goddess’ hidden somewhere under my stash of whatnots. I think I bought the book quite a while ago but never got to it. Anyways…

It was an interesting read for it made me feel like I am partially, almost like the main character. In the sense that I can be such a workaholic sometimes or when duty calls - it doesn’t matter what the task is but anything that I have to do I will be there with all my heart and soul forgetting the other things that are happening around me.

It also made me think that most of us only work, work and work. Thinking that this is the only way forward. The only way to reach our dreams and desires. But what if we reached it by sacrificing everything that could have matter to us? What if we achieve it with only bad health and all the medical bills await us?

Something in the story strucked me. How the lead character Samantha’s life turned out. She has put seven years of her entire life - heart and soul, non-existen social life and all into her job and just one mistake, the only mistake she ever did (which in the end was not really her fault) cost her her dream job. Those that knew her past did not want to be associated with her or be near her.

Likewise, in reflection to my life how I put in so much effort in work and may not necessary get back what I expect. I look back at the many times that I have gone to work sick and feel that without me certain things cannot function.. even if my mind that day worked possibly non-existen with all the illness in me. But no one is indispensable. No one.. no matter.

I once heard that employees are just employees from an employer. So at the end of the day, even if you are an ivy league top of the class graduate, if you are one of the best employee anyone could have, if you are too much to keep, you are too much to keep.

There have been so many situations that we may give our all in whatever the situation befalls us: work-, social-, personal-, whatsoever- part of our life that we put in so much but in a dash, it all doesn’t matter.

It all doesn’t matter that no matter how much you have put into one particular aspect of your life and expect the best out of it… some of the times it won’t turn out as how you would want it to be. It could be better or it could be worst, hard to say. After all everything is not as predictable as we think it is.

I realised that at the end of the day, it has to be somewhat of a balance for you. Most of all the importance of enjoying every bit of it. We only have one shot at life, why not make the best of it?

At the end of the day, money is not everything. It is what drives you.

So if I am ill, I am ill and I will stay in bed!

‘Employer-Employee Relationship: I get what I want and you don’t’

            What do you do when someone or something disappoints you or the people that you care?

            Should we go around telling what this person/thing has done and hoping everyone will be on your side?

            Would it be wise to rally everyone to turn against that person/product?

             No doubt we will be frustrated, angry and disappointed. But is that how it should be resolved? Or is there a better way?

             There are some things in life that we can’t choose but for others we can. And when face with things that we seemed no choice to face with, there is always that little path called ‘choice’.

             We make the choices to improve or impair our life.

             Notice ‘we’ not ‘others’.

            There are certain recent events that got me thinking. We have a choice to let the bad continue to happen or we can change it and turn it around to our benefit, making the best of it.

            Speaking of which, I was watching a documentary of Abi Titmuss. Okay, she may not be a role model but what she has done to her life made her in a better position. I’m not condoning her scandals that she did, or didn’t do, or made up. But everytime something happens she managed to turn the bad thing into her favour. She was a nurse earning £14,000 a year and last year she earned easily millions. Of course there are people who don’t like her ways but what I’m saying here is that no matter how upset she was in a situation she can turn it into a good thing for her.

            Likewise, when we face with challenges in our life, we have a choice (or choices for that matter): we can improve the situation and make the best of it; gloat, moan and complaint, which eventually lead to nothing; run from it (one of my favourite); sleep on it (my new solution to problems); or do nothing.

            Whatever it is, it is our choice. Do we want to be happy? Or do we want to be misarable?

            There is no doubt that sometimes we do things to defend those we love, care or can’t defend themselves but it is not right to make others around you feel worst with your added comments or opinions.

             This continuous cycle will eventually make people dislike or even resent us. Then you will see and wonder why some act the way they do. After all, justice will prevail and the truth will finally dawn.

             In the meantime should we continue to be unhappy?

             We are only but humans. We are not perfect. Indeed there are times we do things that hurt others. And there are regrets in life. I once convinced myself that I will not regret the things I do but then realised that if we don’t know how to regret certain things, we are not accepting and learn from our mistakes.

              There will always be disappointment out there. There will always be something that we will not be satisfied. When are we going to let go and move on? When are we as individuals going to make a choice that is good for ourselves and everyone?

              When its too late?

I’ve been down this road walkin’ the line
That’s painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can’t hide

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind

Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I’ve decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind

I’ve been searchin’ my soul tonight
I know there’s so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

            I never really understand the joys of playing MahJong. Its not the type that one see on the internet or arcade which you click on a pair and the tiles will disappear but the real thing - a game where played by three or four players.

            My earliest recallation of playing MahJong is lining the tiles in a domino like, snaking around the table and give it a little nudge to see it fall on one another. Another was to stack it in a pyramid.

           I remember seeing my family - parents and relatives playing and as a child we should keep quiet around the table, lest we will tell the others what tiles they have. Of course, we are the ‘ah sei’ (maid-like) - making sure there is enough drinks for the players and get them things: a comfy cushion, food, etc.

           Then when it was our turn as children to play the ‘real’ MahJong - that was an experience itself.

           My cousins (brother and sister) used to live with us for a few years. In the evenings after dinner, after clearing the table, we are expected to sit at the round dining table doing our homework or revising. My father will come out later around 10pm to help with any homework or any additional learning.

          But when they go out for their social dancing we will have our own MahJong session. We play the four player version (at that point, three player version wasn’t popular) - my cousins and my younger sister Suemae and me. Due to the layout of our house where the dining area is in the front and the living area in the back we will have our session in the living room, which supposed to give us enough time to clear up when the adults come home. We spent so many fun hours playing the game, hiding the evidence and I think we even got caught playing it before. Those were the days - it was great fun.

          So, through this early experience and the observation as being ‘ah seis’ I’ve learn the basics of the game - well, I only know how to finish the game. It was not until a few years back that I learnt to count the points which what makes the game more meaningful. I don’t deny that I still struggle a little with this counting of points.

           But to really learn how to play MahJong, one needs to pay ‘tuition’ fees - which means playing the game with money. Oh… this is not very fun. Being a non-gambling (sort of) person, it is not good news to me. Maybe cos I often fear of losing. Hey, but all in good fun.

           As I learn the game, it is not just a game. Interestingly enough, I learn more about myself, my character and how by discovering myself I can improve where there need be. I am so wowed by the game!

           My first ‘real’ game I won 58p but the next day I lost almost everything (about £2 its a big sum already! - I’m a low risk taker). Obviously I was disappointed but like I said, there is so much to learn and improve. Not only the game but also myself. And I think that through all this improving and continuous learning (albeit paying more ‘tuition’ fees) I will discover and better myself.

            Don’t understand? Well, you will have to play the game to understand. Ah yes, most importantly by paying ‘tuition’ fees!

            Now I need to practice for my rematch! ;0P

For the past two weeks I had the fans and dehumidified in my flat to dry up the damp that was caused by a flood caused by the top floor occupant.

Although the incident happened way in November last year, work was only carried out a few weeks back. Of course by now, most of the obvious moisture had already been dried up. Nothing much seemed damage due to the quick logical steps that was taken when the incident happened.

It was quite funny how it happened as well. I can remembered there was a lot of water coming down through the bedroom lights, which has been taken down by the insurance’s electrician. And the upper flat’s occupants and I thought that possibly the top floor guy had sucided in the bathtub, bless that guy! We were so silly! Of course and thank God - it wasn’t!!

After the equipments were in place it was quite noisy as you can imagine. Big fans and all. Have some pics maybe will upload later - if procratination and laziness does not get the better part of me!

And today when the all clear was given, i.e. the moisture level is at acceptable level, the equipments have been removed. Its funny how I had been living with it for the past two weeks, having it switch on 24/7 - yes I was able to sleep in the noise. The fans reminded me of fans back home. Friends were amazed that I didn’t switch it off.

Now that everything is back to how it was, I will definately miss the fans and the noise. But I can now watch the idiot box at a slightly lower volume, or would I?